Positive…

I have started and stopped writing this post for well over a few months. Honestly, ever since I got pregnant, I’ve been beyond exhausted. Each time I sat down to write, I experienced major writer’s block. So here goes nothing……

I’ll start by saying the month before I found out I was actually pregnant, I thought I had a positive. I took the test a few days early and had the faintest of lines hinting at a positive. I had convinced myself it were true and planned out exactly how I was going to tell my husband. I headed to Target for more tests and even went to the maternity section (why do I do this to myself). I bought a sweatshirt that said “Hello baby” and a shirt that said “Mama”. We had been trying for a few months, and I was excited it was finally happening. Unfortunately, a few days later and a few tests later, the tests ended up negative. I took my Target purchases and hid them deep within the closet.

So a month later, I promised myself I would not test early in order to avoid that heartbreak of a maybe faint line. Unfortunately, I don’t have that much self discipline. It was Superbowl Sunday, and our friends were having a huge party at their ranch over 1.5 hours away. I had been sick all week with a cough and told my husband to go without me. As I lay on the couch, the exhaustion was like no other. I laid there and thought, hmm I get this cough every year and I am never this tired when I get it. I immediately looked at the calendar and realized I was a few days away from being able to test. Of course, I ran to the bathroom and tested. There was the faintest of lines. I immediately texted my best friend’s sister who is like a sister to me and helped me through the faint line situation I experienced the month before. I remember saying I’m sorry to do this to you again but I think I see a faint line. She confirmed my “line eyes” and told me to go buy a digital test.

I immediately got in the car and headed to Target. I bought four tests and then headed home. I took the digital test and sure enough it said “PREGNANT”. I started bawling and Facetimed one of my best friend who was in Mexico. Before I could say anything she started yelling “are you pregnant?!” and we both cried. She was with her mom and she captured such a precious video. This facetime followed by texting my best friend’s sister who helped through all of this. Which then resulted in me planning how to tell my husband when he got home.

The teacher and planner in me had me immediately in my office working on my cameo. I made bandanas for the dogs that said “Guess what? Mom’s pregnant”. I was beyond excited for my husband to see these on the dogs when he got home. At this point it was around 12:30 and Super Bowl hadn’t even started. He was far away and it would be hours before he would be home. It was torturous waiting on him.

I spent the afternoon on cloud nine forgetting I was sick and planning all of the things. Nursery, names, outfits, you name it. Again, I’m a planner.

Fast forward to 8pm, and he was finally home! I put the dogs outside who proceeded to go insane (we have three, hello zoo). My picture perfect announcement was about to happen, so I thought. I had my ipad set up to record and he came in and went to the kitchen. He normally always goes to the couch, but didn’t. The dogs were barking like crazy and he said to let them in. I needed him to come to the couch so this would work! Anyways, I pretended to act distracted and eventually let them in. They went wild and it was impossible for him to see the bandanas. Eventually I asked him to look at them. When he did he was shocked. He couldn’t believe it. I cried happy tears, of course. And it took him about thirty minutes to realize it was real. We pretty much immediately facetimed his mom and sister and then my mom and stepdad. His family lives in Alabama and my mom was going to Florida the next day. I couldn’t wait to see her in person. It was so special because as we were facetiming my mother in-law and sister in-law he started to get really excited as he talked about the baby. Again, I got teary eyed. The next few days were followed by many family facetime announcements and an in person announcement at my dad and step mom’s. Each time, it became more real and more exciting.

It’s funny how you picture things will happen. How I planned for this perfect moment that went wrong in many ways. The ipad didn’t even capture this! But, it was perfect for us. Looking back, I tear up thinking how special and exciting these moments were. I know there are many people out there who struggle and honestly my heart breaks for you. I pray for you every single day. I feel blessed and thank God daily for this baby.

Here’s to our next chapter as Baby H will be joining us in October!

“For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me the desires of my heart.” 1 Samuel 1:27 w